Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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