We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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