My friends, they love my intelligence
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
