And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
