I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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