just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
this boner is exhausting
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
