u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
