When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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