OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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