is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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