I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
