I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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