Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
