He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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