In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Randomize
