Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
