it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize