definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
