This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
