But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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