Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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