Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Randomize