New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize