do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
