i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize