Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
