It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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