If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
