You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize