There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
