My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
false alarm. still invincible.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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