i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
