it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I can't put those talents on a resume
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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