Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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