I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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