hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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