You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
