Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
