He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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