Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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