She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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