evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize