Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
