i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
