Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
