A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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