we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
