what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize