if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
