I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
