we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize