My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
