Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm just crazy horny about you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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