the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
