the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
