***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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