We won't sleep together?
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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