addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
