How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I enjoy the company of your penis
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
