i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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