i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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