There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
