peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize