I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
