I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
