I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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