We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
